My Adventure in Manchester Part one
So something I thought I'd try out, a post about my trips.
Manchester day one part one.
My alarm woke me at 1.30am on Wednesday 10th April, after only a couple of hours sleep my body was hating me choosing to get up at this time. Emma was still fast asleep and the temptation to just stay in bed was there. However I dragged myself out and got into a shower, after the shower I drank an Americano to try wake me up.
After making sure I'd got everything in my bag I left at half two for the long ponderous journey to the Bus station, I truly know how Scott of the Antarctic felt when he began his epic quest...two minutes later I arrived. There was a small crowd of people who like me were questioning their life choices as they waited for their transport and a homeless person was walking around arguing with himself. Just after 3am my coach arrived, myself and three other people boarded for the journey north.
After about an hour's disturbed kip at most I saw we were coming into Nottingham. Joy. I wasn't going back to sleep so put my headphones on and watched The Office (US) instead until we came to the slums of Yorkshire....or Leeds as it's now known as. I had two hours there to watch the Backward Northerners try to figure out how the Sun rose every morning and then blame it on Southerners, A Greggs Breakfast was enjoyed and time passed oh so slowly until my next coach to Manchester.
Eventually we left and I could see the look of shock and terror on Northerners faces as we travelled in a Horseless carriage, after an hour we made it to Manchester, my destination, stumbling bleary-eyed off my coach, I was in Manchester, the home of Corrie, Rain and the only city centre where it could be argued that the IRA blowing it to hell actually improved it.
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I've got to be honest....I thought the coach would drop me off at Shudehill interchange so seeing the 1960s monstrosity that is the National Express Coach Station was a bit of a let down.
Still, an unexpected bonus was that it was a thirty second walk to my hotel, sadly I wouldn't be able to check in for another 4 hours, but I didn't come to Manchester to just shit in my hotel room toilet (That would be later), So I found the nearest tram stop, got asked for change by two homeless people looking for their next fix and started to get pissed on...by the weather, not the homeless people.
Day ticket purchased, I set off for the first tram route, by this point it was hammering it down and I was as wet as the swimming pool on the Titanic (fun fact, it's still full to this day, now that's solid workmanship). Bailed out at MediaCityUK where the BBC and ITV have their northern bases, didn't see any celebs though, which was rude of them.
MediaCityUK done, now to head off to Eccles, The home of the Ecclescake, I would celebrate clearing that branch by purchasing an Ecclescake...fun fact, it's not the home of the Ecclescake nor did I Buy one as it was raining still. So I headed off to Altrincham, by this point I was a bit hungry and also needing a poo, Altrincham Tram stop shares platforms with the Rail station, so I knew it would have a toilet....30 fucking pence to use it, robbing shits. So one poo later I decided to get a bite to eat...just a little shop that didn't even have sandwiches, fuck sake North, do you not even have Sandwiches? So I got some crisps, Trafford Centre, Manchester Airport lines done, saw kids skiving off school and then others going home from school after a day of telling teachers to feck off and eating some whippets.
By this point I was getting a bit tired and my phone needed charging, so I checked in to my hotel, a great building and my windowless room had a great big window, happy days. Had a coffee, rang Emma to discover she was having a great day and wasn't missing me at all, rude 😂😂😂.
So late afternoon I decided one last line, tram line, not cocaine (Don't do drugs kids, Just say no). I headed off for Rochdale, an hour each way, got to Rochdale, had two other people ask for change (I wouldn't mind but they were the fucking Tram staff....in fairness they may have been asking to see my ticket, but the Manchester accent is so thick, One day they'll learn English). Headed back to Manchester, had a big fat Burger King meal in my room. Saw a ghost had moved my chair while I was out...which was rude, they could have asked first, Had an epic poo and then went bed.
So that was my first day in Manchester, the next day I'd be heading home in the afternoon, so what would I do? What people would I encounter? Would I turn native and declare war on the house of York? Would I end up supporting Man Utd? Would I film a cameo in Coronation Street? Eat a Betty's hotpot? Turn native and declare war on the house of York?
All this and more in the next exciting episode of "Marc shits in other cities."
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