A Tale of two (capital )Cities (Part 2)








So back in part 1, I travelled down to London. It was a pleasant trip and a fun afternoon. 


Now I was at London Euston, waiting for my overnight train to Edinburgh with Caledonian Sleeper. I had a couple of hours to kill so I'd wonder around, do some people watching, plot how I'd take over the world using just a toothpick and a Lemon. Eventually my train was ready to board at 10.30pm. would I have a comfy bed? Not for £250 fucking quid I wouldn't, I paid £50 for a seat which in fairness isn't a bad price. Just a shame everything else let it down.


The train was due to depart at 23.45 and so I boarded just after 22.30 and found my seat and sat down and waited...and waited...and waited...and in oh, after half an hour my right arse cheeky was starting to hurt. Not a good sign, no matter how I sat I just couldn't get comfortable. There was a row of two seats opposite so if no one sat there I'd borrow it and lay down. We departed five minutes late because someone was having an argument but the locomotive really got a shift on and pulled the 12 carriages with ease. 

Good news, no one was sitting in the row of two.


Bad news, It was even more uncomfortable, the armrest next to the window wouldn't move up so I had that sticking into my side or back. 


After an hour or so of being stabbed I moved back to my original seat and prayed for death. The complimentary sleeper pack contained an eye mask and some ear buds....no fucking Pillow? Bit tight.


The train trundled up north and the heater next to my seat blew out cold air all fucking night. It was horrendous. Watford, Crewe, Preston, Carlisle...all came and went and I eventually dozed about 04.30am. Until about 6am when a member of staff walked down the carriage and two passengers ranted at her about how cold the carriage had been. She asked why didn't anyone report it, eventually I'd had enough and did the very manfully move of pretending I was asleep so people would ignore me.


At 0730am we arrived at Edinburgh Waverley, my hell was over, fresh air was in my lungs. Edinburgh Waverley has showers so I bleary eyed and almost comatose made my way over to them to have a hot shower and wake myself up......they were broken. Bollocks.


How would my day in Edinburgh go? Would I get a coffee? Would I go Haggis hunting? All this more in the next exciting episode of...Batman...sorry I mean A Tale of two (capital) cities.

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